Sorry folks, I gotta vent here…
I’m sure by now most of you have heard about this mess with guitarist John Mayer and his overly candid Playboy Magazine interview. I won’t put the links here, but I’ve read some of the quotes in said interview, and let me tell you I felt like I needed a shower after I was done.
Mayer truly brings sleaze down to a whole new level. Between all the repulsive and indescreet TMI anectdotes regarding previous romantic partners and several racist comments, I didn’t know whether to cry or punch a wall…or both!
Of course, Mayer’s mouth got him in trouble, what did he expect?
And once the media got wind of his careless chatter….and chastized him for it…suddenly the apologies start flowing! Well, I for one am not buying any of these so-called apologies. Why? Well, because he’s not sincere as far as I’m concerned.
Unless Mayer was born under a rock or has been living in a plastic bubble for the past 32 years of his life, he should’ve been taught by someone…parent, preacher or teacher… that there are certain things one shouldn’t ever do or say…and there are certain things that are never acceptable behavior for someone who claims they have a ”Benneton heart!”
Things such as
1) a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell …even if the woman in question may not necessarily be a ”lady.”
Mayer’s comments re: previous lovers are disgusting…and just wrong on several levels. How can one compare a woman with either a cheap, illegal, lethal street drug or a destructive military weapon and still be taken seriously? Sexual napalm? What is that supposed to mean? Also, do we really need to know about his solitary sexual practises or his desire to become the next John Holmes or Anais Nin? Euwww.
2) the use of the “N” word is unacceptable, even if other do use it. I am referring to the offensive word that rhymes with trigger.
Does Mayer honestly think because he is a celebrity that he gets a pass on this one, hood or otherwise? Don Imus certainly didn’t, so why should he? When it comes to music creation, Mayer collaborates all the time with people of color, so for him to use the N word is truly an insult. I don’t care if other Black rappers do use it, they are wrong, too. Does two wrongs make a right? If Mayer thinks so, then I have a special “N” word for him…NARCISSIST!
3) Praising one thing should not mean denigrating or desparaging another.
Apparently, Playboy asked Mayer if Black women throw themselves at him. Apparently, there are enough women of color in Mayer’s fanbase to facilitate asking such a question. Well, instead of either ignoring the inflammatory question or answering with a simple yes or no and changing the subject, Mayer used it as an opportunity to give the African American women a virtual slap to the face!
Why does this upset me most of all? Because I am one of those Black women he insulted!
Look, I don’t care if he has a preference for women of his own race. At nearly 50 years of age, I’m emotionally mature enough to know that most people prefer romantic/sexual partners within their own race/ethnicity. I’ve been around long enough to know that for many men once they have achieved a certain level of fame, power and/or financial success…they generally want the “trophy girlfriend/wife” i.e. the tall, thin, blue eyed young blonde. Their alleged preferences/proclivities/paraphilias are not at issue here.
The crux of the problem as I see it is the outrageous way Mayer dealt with the question, by responding that his “penis is a white supremicist!” He even went a step further to compare his intimate organ to an actual infamous Klansman, David Duke. That in my view was beyond reprehensible!
Does Mayer not realize that by making such statements he is basically legitimizing racism, not to mention hate groups? It comes off as if Mayer is also saying that if he, the “great” Hollywood celebrity thinks Black women are somehow unattractive, undesirable and in his eyes “unworthy”…then others should think just as he does! Well, who is he to make such a social mandate?
The young Black woman of today does not need to hear that Mayer (or anyone else) thinks she is at the bottom of the heap! I don’t care if Mayer thinks he’s being “honest”…such honesty we can all do without. That’s not honesty. That’s meanspiritedness. This isn’t a matter of “political correctness”…it’s a matter of respect, something Mayer failed to show with his callous and insensitive comments!
Obviously, Mayer is aware that a sizable contingent of his fanbase are Black women…hence the reason why Playboy posed the question in the first place. So why would Mayer want to alienate these women in such a dispicable fashion? Can he really afford to pick and choose who gets to be a fan of his? Can any celebrity do that and still remain a profitable celebrity for long?
If any celebrity is too picky and insists on having only a model “perfect” fanbase, they may wind up with no fanbase at all. Celebrities should remember that those fans who are of the perceived “wrong” color, “wrong” body size, “wrong” age demographic, “wrong” sexual orientation, etc are STILL fans! Fans who have money, and their money is just as spendable and valid as the money of the allegedly more “desirable” fans. If Mayer or any other celebrity continues to act like they are doing, in a dismissive and snobbish fashion towards fans, then that money will stay in the fan’s pockets, just as it should…that is if said fan has any respect for themselves.
Sure, in the last few days, in the midst of this media firestorm, Mayer has issued several “apologies”: in the media, on Twitter…even on stage with crocodile tears and all, but as far as I’m concerned, these apologies are as the Good Book would put it in 1 Cor 13 “as a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” I guess he figured once he applied a sufficient amount of damage control, then folks wouldn’t think of him so negatively…and that everyone could go back to business as usual.
Wrong answer!
Well, now that the world isn’t being so quick to forgive and forget, and they’re reticent about wanting to kiss and make up… Mayer is now pouting and claiming he won’t Twitter anymore because of this incident. I’d say that’s a pretty clear indicator that he really isn’t sorry at all to begin with.
Well, I say go ahead take your ball and go home, Mr. John Mayer…it won’t break my heart if you do that! I was never a fan of yours, and after this incident I highly doubt I’ll change my mind. I’d say that he (and other trash talking bigoted Lotharios posing as celebrities) are better off remaining silent, turning down interviews and staying off Twitter and other social networks until they learn how to think before they speak, and they learn how to speak of all people with the basic respect we deserve as human beings.
If Mayer wants to prove to the world and his fans that he’s truly sorry, and that he’s not merely mouthing empty words in an effort to cover his butt and career… then maybe he should do as actress Holly Robinson Peete so eloquently put it “drop the frat boy act and take responsibility for his these hurtful comments.”
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Sounds like I should be glad I’ve never heard of him.
It’s so easy to offend these days that it’s probably no wonder that some celebrities choose simply to not talk about their personal lives or tastes or beliefs at all. I’m not saying what he said wasn’t offensive, just that maybe the best line of defense for celebrities nowadays is to keep one’s mouth zipped about anything other than the work. This isolates celebrities even more from their fans.
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